07 Mar Being a late feminist
Do the best you can until you know better
March 8th: a date to commemorate and acknowledge the courage, resilience, and contribution of women around the world. Sweet, right?
Well in my country, Mexico, it is also a day that reminds us that 11 women are killed every day due to gender violence crimes, and that 8 out of 10 women have been victims of emotional, economical, physical, and sexual violence.
I STARTED MY FEMINIST JOURNEY LATE
That’s the reality women face in my country, and yet I must confess that I started my feminist journey late. My privilege clouded my vision for a long time and so when I finally began to see a little more clearly, the first thing I had to do was to examine my own beliefs, my contribution to the stigmas we as women were trying so hard to eliminate, and my own doing to the reality that needed to change urgently.
In a society that tells us what our roles as women are supposed to be, how we should look, how we should act, who we should be, I began a journey of questions. And so I travelled along this never ending path of learning and unlearning. A journey where I had to recognise myself being part of a sick society where I have, too, been the sick one, the illness BUT most importantly I am also part of the cure.
I became a late feminist because I enjoyed taking things for granted for a long time. I went voting without questioning any of the struggles women before me had to endure to make it possible. I was able to get a divorce and never considered the women who had to first fight for that right. The list goes on and on. I became a late feminist because I had to see the pain in the eyes of a mother who had just lost her daughter. Her eyes showed me the amount of work that still needs to be done; the things that still need to change urgently.
too late or not too late?
Feminism is an inclusive movement where safety, equality and justice exist for all people. A political, social, academic, economic, and cultural force that seeks to create awareness and conditions to achieve equality, and eliminate any form of discrimination or violence against women.
Was I late to feminism? Yes. Was I too late? NO. It’s never too late, when there is so much to do! As Dr. Maya Angelou says: ‘Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you do know better, do better.’
So coming back to the 8th March as a day to celebrate women. I understand how it outrages a lot of women that we have one silly day in the year where flowers are gifted to women to tell them they are appreciated, when there is such a shocking amount of discrimination and abuse all across societies.
Every day should just be a human’s day! And I remain positive that it will happen one day. Maybe not in our lifetime, but we need to continue the hard work to get closer to an equal society.
What do we do? It is easy to feel a little paralysed when thinking what can be done individually? Not all of us are activists, who have the drive and confidence to speak their thoughts loudly and repeatedly.
There are still things that can be done:
- Educate yourself about the principles, struggles and achievements of the feminist movement. Question and question again until you feel confident to express an opinion and live it.
- Listen and learn: Gender inequality is still so common. You will spot it a lot around you. It manifests itself differently. When you listen, you will see and learn how to address it more effectively.
- Question gender norms: Question gender stereotypes that you might have been taking for granted but that dictate how people should behave based on their gender with simply no other meaningful purpose
- Support women in their efforts for equality: Creating equality doesn’t mean fighting and screaming. You can do your part by being part of a community that creates a safe place for each other.
- Join or support women focused organisations: Find organisations that actively participate in the promotion and creation of public policies with gender perspective. They are also great sources of education about the topic.
- Recognise and challenge sexism and misogyny: Be aware of sexism and misogyny in all its forms. Because it has many and some are very subtle. Find the confidence to speak up about it, when you feel you can.