16 Feb Meditation and reflection
|| In conversation with me, myself and I ||
Meditation has become quite the buzz word over the past years. With meditation apps such as Headspace and Calm, a ton of guided meditations on YouTube, and even meditation challenges, the practice of meditation seems to have reached its popularity peak.
I started the practice of meditation four years ago, after I had finally decided to reach out for help to work on some deeply rooted fears, and traumas. I used to be convinced that I could handle and solve everything on my own. An idea that I still think is true, as I believe it is our job and choice to work on ourselves. But I have since realised that sometimes we need to ask for help to have the right tools and guidance to work on ourselves in the most beneficial way possible.
'I DECIDED TO WORK STEP BY STEP ON SOME OF MY FEARS, ACCEPTING THEM AND LETTING THEM GO'.
Four years ago I had somewhat of a mental breakdown. I felt exhausted, couldn’t stop crying, and I wasn’t able to think straight anymore. Luckily, I had a very supportive friend who referred me to a lady who was an energy practitioner. As more of a rational person, all that energy stuff was maybe interesting to me but not something I really believed in. Well… until that day. I called this very lady and she calmed me down over the phone. She barely used any words. She just sent me energy and I felt heat in my body and my own energy returning. My thoughts were clearing out again, and I finally stopped crying.
From there, my path was enriched and I was much more keen on self-exploration. We meditated once a month, not with guided meditations, but by sitting still for 40 minutes and listening to whatever was going on inside. Sometimes images appeared, other times nothing really, just thoughts that came and went. But the amazing thing was the realisation that when you sit still and take time for yourself over and over, you eventually start listening without background chatter. We are always taught that meditation is to switch off the mind. And then we sit there, constantly stressing ourselves because we catch ourselves thinking about something again.
Let’s be honest; most of us are still very far from being able to detach from all thinking. If we’re lucky and patient enough, we might get there one day. But for now (and maybe for a long time), most of us might just find peace in the process of switching from being in the mind to observing the mind. I decided to work step by step on some of my fears, accepting them, and letting them go. No more quick fixes like distraction of the mind or pushing things aside; but a gentle, yet no bullshit tool to get into conversation with myself, with my fears, hopes, dreams and unprocessed traumas.
'WE USE HOURS AND HOURS A DAY TO TALK TO OTHERS, BUT WE OFTEN FORGET TO TALK TO THE MOST IMPORTAN PERSON: OURSELVES'.
There are so many things and memories we are afraid to face again, so we bury them in our mind and hope for the least possible disturbance. But they creep up when we least want or expect it. These memories and experiences need to be put away peacefully for us to move on and set free. Growing free is not easy but it is worth every effort. We use hours and hours a day to listen and talk to others, but we often forget to talk to the most important person in our lives: ourselves. The more you sit in peace and focus on observation, the more you will see things for what they are. You will see patterns that you created mostly due to fears. And eventually you will see ways to let them go. Most of them have no solutions as such. The only way to close those doors is acceptance. And meditation will support you in finding that. It really is a great tool to help with self awareness, patience, mindfulness, self improvement, stress relief, and relaxation. And it is completely free! Yes those apps and challenges might help you get into it, or maybe keep the motivation going. But keep in mind, meditation is meant to be just you and doesn’t really require any tools or additions.
'LET YOUR MIND WANDER, LISTEN TO YOUR THOUGHTS, AND READ BETWEEN THE LINES'.
So the next time you meditate, don’t stress over having to not think about anything. Relax and observe. Let your mind wander, listen to your thoughts, and read between the lines, if you can. Look at them as if you were listening to another person. Yes, meditation needs to be learned and learning is a gradual process. But it will never be mastered by the fiery mind who approaches it like a trivial skill in our daily lives. It requires a different kind of determination, and it is a very quiet and personal accomplishment.
Much love and Hari Om <3
Co-written by Sarah & Kris
