Embracing a woman’s 30s without pressure
TAKE THE TIME YOU NEED. YOUR FUTURE KIDS WILL THANK YOU FOR IT
A woman's best years are her 30s. Well, by now, that saying might have even changed to ‘her 40s’. And it has really been reinforced by a large list of female role models and celebrities such as Rihanna and Beyoncé sharing their positive experiences and looking gorgeous.
On the other hand though, women in their 30s (especially the second half of it) often face the ticking of their biological clocks, work-life balance challenges, and pressure to make lifelong decisions. Needless to say that this leads to quite a lot of extra stress, anxiety and uncertainty. So it’s a bit of a delicate decade (or two) - empowering, yet frightening and quite impactful on our overall life path. And we wonder; are we going to run out of (biological) time.
PEOPLE FELT HAPPIEST At age 33
Let's look at some facts: The average age for women giving birth to their first child in the European Union is around 29 years and slowly increasing. And a 2012 study found that people of all genders felt happiest at age 33, thanks to fulfilment from their professional lives, personal development, and their network of family and friends. Because luckily, as we pursue career advancement and personal growth, we also seem to prioritise self-care, stress management, and ageing gracefully.
Additionally, it seems that delaying significant life events like marriage can lead to potentially lower divorce rates among couples. Studies show that couples marrying before age 28 are more likely to divorce than those who tie the knot later.
According to a 2016 study by Psychology Today , the "sweet spot" for marriage is around age 28. And they attribute it to factors such as better decision-making skills, greater financial stability, and a clearer understanding of one's values and expectations from a long-term partner. (In my case, I definitely did not have the right decision making skills at 28. It took me another 5 years.
MANY OF US ARE OPTING FOR LATE, OR RATHER, LATER PARENTHOOD
As couples grow more matures, relationship dynamics evolve in their 30s. By prioritising communication, women and their partners strengthen their connections and build more lasting, supportive relationships. And with that, they tend to be better equipped as individuals and couples to become more rounded and supportive parents.
Women’s empowerment and the choice to pursue motherhood in their 30s are becoming more common. Many of us are opting for late, or rather, later parenthood. And in fact, some research shows that having children at an older age benefits both parent and child . Emotionally, older parents tend to be more prepared and mature, exhibiting relaxed parenting behaviours that contribute to their children's wellbeing and psycho-social development. Children of older parents are also likely to be more tech-savvy and better educated, benefiting from educational, technological, and social progress made during years of delayed childbearing. And of course, older parents may also be more financially stable, leading to improved outcomes for their children in terms of education and health.
Women in their 30s often feel more certain and confident in their lives , noting that they are more grounded in their decisions and have earned respect at work. Despite the fact that they might continue to struggle with their work-life balance.
FEEL FREE TO FOCUS ON YOUR PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL GROWTH BEFORE STARTING A FAMILY
The point is: If ever (or the next time) you feel any pressure of rushing into parenthood - don’t. Focus freely on your personal and professional growth before starting a family. Your kids will thank you for it eventually.
By acknowledging the diverse experiences of women in their 30s, we can better understand the importance of embracing this decade without succumbing to societal pressures and expectations.
And with that I hope I could remind you that you can navigate through your 30s with confidence. If it takes time, it takes time. We live so long these days. So long as we don’t force anything upon us or others, we will lead fulfilling and authentic lives. No matter what the societal noise tries to drill into us.
